Confessions of a mom!

Confessions of a mom:
*When we say we didn't get any sleep the night before, it's not because we were up partying or having a crazy night. It's because a child was up all night sick.

*When we say we have a busy night ahead of us, it's not because we have plans to go out on the town. It's because we have to cook dinner, feed kids, bathe them , do homework/story time, put them to bed, clean the house, take out the trash, get a shower ourselves and maybe get to bed before 1 am.

*When our vehicle has trash and cups all over it it's not because were lazy. It's because we were running late and drive-thru was all we had time for.

*When our nice white carpet and walls have stains and hand prints on them it isn't because we don't want to clean. It's because our child got mad and threw their cup of juice that will NOT come out even if you used straight bleach or rubber their hand in ketchup and smeared it on the walls and it stained the cheap ass paint.

*When your child is walking around with one or no shoes on, it isn't because we let them dress their selves. It's because they got mad at you in the car and threw one or both of their shoes out the window on the freeway!

*When a quiet night at home doesn't consist of anything romantic. But that the kids went to bed without screaming for 35 minutes and we get to bed at a decent hour.

*When a romantic evening costs less then $20 and you don't have to leave your house. Consisting of nothing more than no kids, take out, and a red box movie.

The simple things in life I suppose, but kids make your life worth while!!!

WTF???

Okay so i just finished watching the movie The 19th Wife and I have to say it's a good movie and brings real insight into the subject. Polygamy does still happen today and has been more made aware of by the hit T.V. show 'Sister Wives'. I decided to do some research on the subject to figure out WHY someone would want to be a polygamist and there beliefs. Polygamy is a sick way for old horny men to have as many wives as he wants and at illegal ages, some as young as 11 or 12. I fully beieve in freedom of religion, but what are people thinking. Polygamy is modern day slavery at it's finest. The whole fundamentals of polygamy is to please God by pleasing your husband and bearing him many children to do the same and create an Army for the Lord for the end times. The whole point is to break a persons will, even from infancy. A crying baby is not to cry, if it does they are to do one of two things: hold its nose and mouth firmly, or place the babies head under running water (can you say "child abuse"?) Their vocabulary is stripped of words like "I", "we", and "me", and it is also against the rules to laugh! The "prophet" said to be "ordained" by God is the leader in these colonies (CULTS?).

 "Soon after puberty, girls are assigned by the “prophet” to a husband, usually an older man. Men need at least three wives to get into the “celestial kingdom.” A woman can only be “celestialized” if she pleases her husband." - http://www.religionnewsblog.com/11118/cult-stories-enough-to-make-you-want-to-cry

Polygamist believe that if they disobey their husband, or for some reason become unmarried (by death, and do not remarry) that they will not go to Heaven.

Someone needs to send a bible to these people and spread the REAL Word of God to them.  The Bible states that marriage is for ONE man to be married to ONE woman.  Not to 10, 20, 50 or even 100 women. It is sad that people actually live this way, some women find the strength to leave the cults and spread their story of "Hell on Earth". I give them props especially because it is dangerous. This world and the people in it will never cease to amaze me. If you want to read a remarkable story of Polygamy pick up "The 19th wife" by David Ebershoff. A story of miss Ann Eliza Young who escaped a polygamy colony.

^^Darkness^^

As darkness falls like a blanket,

enveloping every aspect of light, 

the night prowlers come out to play. 

As crimson tears fall from my eyes, 

I sit alone in this darkening place I call my life. 

I dwell in the darkness, 

flourishing and infatuated with it.

It feels like home to me, 

familiar, 

the place for me. 

So many are afraid of the dark, 

of the secrets and mysteries that it holds. 

Maybe because they feel helpless or out of place, 

or maybe just scared of what they will find or learn about themselves. 

But the darkness is my refuge, 

my safe haven far from anyone else. 

A place to think, 

to feel without judgment.

TRUE PLEASURE, 

TRUE ECSTACY, 

dwells in the darkness. 

The point that every person longs for, 

but is deathly afraid to find. 

Where mind, 

body and soul are so closely intertwined it's almost impossible to pull one from the others. Where nothing is impossible. 

This is the night, 

the dark and this is where I dwell.....

Ms. Rivard wrote Sept.2nd 2009 @ 8:36 p.m. 

A Father's Day Poem

To the person who made me who I am today,

To the one who always believed.

To the one who stands beside me,

and says they'll never leave.

To the person who gives me strength,

even as I am weak.

To the one who gave light to my dreams,

and told me to be anything I wanted to be.

To the person who is there at 3am,

when I just need to talk.

On this fathers day I send my love to 

my strength,

my rock,

my MOM! 

CRAZY Weather!!!!!

Ok so i am going through the CRAZIEST weather here in INDIANA!  This is only the second round of the storm and we have had heavy rain, quarter-size hail (see pictures below), strong winds, funnel clouds and rotation, and 3 tornado sightings one of which touched down not far from my house. The 3rd round of this storm is said to hit here in about a half hour and i'm kinda freaked out.... I'm sure i will be up most of the night checking the weather online because i don't have TV or radio in the house.... Below i have posted pictures of the sky throughout the storm and after... I'll post pictures of the 3rd storm when it hit....*trembles*

 1st: during storm

2nd: Quarter-sized hail for 2nd floor balcony

3rd: Sky 3 minutes after storm

 Ok, so the 3rd round of the storm was kinda disappointing... It starting lightning at about 11:30pm then some strong wind. power went out for about 5 minutes and then some heavy rain. That was it!!!! All this hype about the 3rd storm will be the worst, and take cover before it gets to your county, and tornado warnings for the entire state, and all I get it 15 minutes worth of not so bad weather.... Ugh, it was a waste of my time to track the damn thing.. Oh well, got a few cool pictures and a lazy day in the house watchin movies! And the rain helped me get a GREAT nights sleep!

Makes You Wonder???

If life had a remote,

and a button to rewind

would I be where I am?

Would I even be ALIVE?

If I hadn't made the choices,

If I could take it all back

would I choose the same way,

or take another path?

Would I choose to stay again,

or make the choice to go?

Would I choose to bind to him,

or leave him down the road?

Would I choose to better myself,

or turn down the beaten path?

To make my parents proud of me,

or throw me out like trash?

Would I choose to make a life,

or take it effortlessly?

Would I choose to be a mommy young,

or party like a teen? 

Would I choose to be MYSELF,

or what society wants me to be?

an

OUTSPOKEN, OPINIONATED, CURVY woman,

or a BITCH as twiggy as a tree?

I think if I could rewind life,

I wouldn't take the risk.

To not know who I may become,

or if I'd even exist.  

-Ms. Rivard-

Friday, May 13th 2011

Memories of a Friend Taken Too Soon!

A very dear and close friend of mine was killed 7 years ago (on May 31st, 2004). His name was Dakota, and he was killed at the age of 13. Being the crazy kid that he was, he snuck into his cousins house along with his sister and friend to do some drinking. His cousin, who was about 3 yrs older than him, was messing around with a 20 gauge shotgun. Unfortunately, the gun went off and was pointed right at Dakotas stomach only a few inches away, killing him instantly. I took his death hard, as did everyone in our small town, and we all wondered what possessed his cousin to pick up that gun. 6 years have now passed and its hard to believe. All the things he missed out on, all that he never got experience because of some juvenile decisions. I miss him alot and will never forget my very close friend and how he was ripped from us far too soon!

*A newspaper clipping reports (indystar.org)*

 "SHELBURN, Ind. -- A 16-year-old boy fatally shot a younger boy with a shotgun, but investigators said they were hearing different accounts of what happened.
Dakota Moore, 13, of Sullivan was pronounced dead Monday in Sullivan County Community Hospital after he was shot once in the abdomen with a 20-gauge shotgun, county Coroner Danny Holmes said.
Moore was shot about 1:40 a.m. in the home of the 16-year-old about 20 miles south of Terre Haute. Witnesses -- all juveniles -- told sheriff's deputies that the parents of the 16-year-old had asked them to leave the home.
However, the teen let them back in through a window before the shooting occurred, Jerry Mize, chief deputy of the Sullivan County Sheriff's Department."

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
and thoughts a memory lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again

No Farewell words were spoken
No time to say good-bye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.

My heart's still active in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay.

God knows why, with chilling touch,
Death gathers those we love so much,
And what now seems so strange and dim,
Will all be clear, when we meet Him.
I Knew you for a Moment.

Black Swan

OK so i just finished watching the Black Swan, and I have to say that it is the best Drama that has come out in the last few years.  Their rendition of Swan Lake is absolutely AMAZING.  Natalie Portman (who played Nina) did a spectacular job of portraying both the white and black swan.  The story line for this movie, (and swan lake itself), is a very real one and one that in some aspects many women can relate to. Finding love and love lost, happens everyday. Knowing that though you may be broken and may fall, the only person you ever have to compete for approval is yourself. Words to live by in my opinion!

My very UNLUCKY Wednesday!

The day started out like any other... I am sitting at work talk to a customer when all of a sudden *CRUNCH* this horrible sound rings through my head, followed by EXCRUCIATING pain.. As i try not to cry out in pain, I realize that i just broke my tooth and it is now throbbing and bringing me to tears!! The pain is overwhelming and I really don't know what to do... Deciding that going to the dentist THAT INSTANT was probably in my best interest... Luckily, my dentist is right down the street from work... Unfortunately, it was there lunch break and wouldn't be back for an hour.. OK! I told myself, one hour i can handle that. I will take some Tylenol to help with the pain and before i know it they will be open again and i van get this problem fixed.  
Finally, I get into the dentist and they fit me right in. They decided without a doubt they were gonna rip that tooth from my gums. First shot hurt like a bitch, next shot not so bad, third shot (now here's the kicker) hit my nerve and sent a horrible shooting pain up my nasal cavity and straight to my brain before practically paralyzing the right half of my head. This shot instantly made the ENTIRE room spin at a mile a minute, makeing me feel like i was gonna have my lunch make a re-appearance. Ten minutes later (and a shot in the roof of my mouth)  the tooth was extracted nicely! PROBLEM #1: I was seeing double vision out of my right eye, causing the dentist to worry (NEVER a good thing)... Afer sitting there an extra 45 minutes and my vision not getting any better I decided to go sit in my car and get some fresh air, hoping it would help.... As I am sitting there i notice that i don't have any problem looking to the left and my vision is fine, BUT (PROBLEM #2: When i look to the right, my left eye moves but my right eye stays looking forward.. Hence looking pretty fucked up!)  The fresh air didn't help a bit, so there I sit in a car i can't drive because my dentist fucked up my right eye.... Which kinda freaked me out recalling the affidavit they make you sign that the anesthetics can cause paralysis and they are not held responsible.. What kind of bull shit is that? Let me inject you with this drug which may cause you to lose function in your face, but don't worry we'll get that tooth out! :-D   How comforting is that? Finally I had someone come pick me up, and my eye returned to normal after about 3 1/2 hours after initial shot. Moral to the story, make sure you really read what you sign even if in the dentist office because you never know when they'll hit a nerve!

Best Birthday EVER!

 On April 10, 2011 myself and a couple friends made a trip to Bloomington, IN to Bluebird to see one of the greatest bands ever Drive-By Truckers. Excited as I was to see them for the second time, they completely blew all expectations I had. When we got there we got great spots center stage 2nd row... Unfortunately, the guy in front of me was already buzzing before the opening act came on, and by the time DBT came on i was sure he was about to YACK everywhere. Luckily for me he left after the third song, most likely to go pass out somewhere, which gave me front row seats! Placed strategically between Patterson and Cooley, I had the best seat in the house. And as you can see from my pictures above (sorr they are sideways my computer is old fashioned and wont let me flip them!) it was an amazing concert (whole show is posted on YouTube)... I walked away from this night having heard the best concert ever, an autographed poster, guitar picks from Patterson, Cooley, and Shonna, and having a great time with two friends...

Journey

Its the journey we walk, 

the road we go down,

that makes us who we are.

And it's the lessons we learn,

mistakes that we make,

that makes us who we are. 

I've been there before,

didn't like who I became.

Through the trials,

and the pain.

I made it through the rain.

And it's the journey we walk,

the road we go down,

that makes us who we are.

And it's the lessons we learn,

mistakes that we make,

that makes us who we are.

I can't change who I am,

but I can change my situation.

No matter what they say,

I'm in control of my life.

I will make mistakes,

and sometimes I will fall.

But I'll get right up,

dust myself off

and keep on movin' on.

Because it's the journey we walk,

the road we go down,

that makes us who we are.

And it's the lessons we learn,

mistakes that we make,

that makes us who we are.

And in the end we won't be dissappointed,
'Cuz this is exactly what we made ourselves to be.
This is Me... 

-Ms.Rivard-